It's a beautiful scenery ,different colors houses are surrounded by lush mountains. It looks like a peaceful and quiet village, where is far away from the noisy and crowd cities.Also, there is a bridge that stands tall and upright in the front of this village.After being shocked and attracted by this landscape,I notice a guy who is at the top of bridge drives a car. Now that he wants to open fire, it looks like a flight will break out. By the time he arrived, all people here had already left. Even though they weren't reluctant to leave their home, he didn't have another way to avoid suffering. It's vey lucky that we see so beautiful senery before the violent fight starts.
This is a good improvement from your first draft! I would like to have seen this expanded even more! Why is the guy going to open fire? Where are the people going to go...there's still a lot you could do here!
ReplyDelete7/10